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You are looking at a screenshot taken of Matt’s start menu. As you will notice there are not very many options really, just some of the important things that he would use on a daily basis. There are icons on his desktop that allow him to do his other daily tasks at Google as well as what it listed here.

Open Email - Pretty self explanatory, this opens his MSN email.
Messenger -This opens his MSN Messenger program.
Spell Checker - This auto spell checks www.semspot.com and checks for every time I screw up “there” and “their”.
Google Updates - This folder contains all of the upcoming Google updates that will be rolled out in the coming months.
Complaints - This folder is 301 redirect to the computers recycle bin.
PR Update Tools - Tools used by Matt to start the process of updating page rank for every website on the internet.
PR Killer! v1.05 - Program used to target individual websites and lower there PR with a click of a button and a captcha code. Version 1.06 should be out soon and will no longer use captcha to validate the user, it will now use a retina scanner to ensure it is in fact Matt Cutts. Some rumors are floating around in regards to someone using this program without permission and lowering the PR of some websites that did not deserve it earlier in the week. Those websites can be found on numerous forum and blog posts, you can check out these blogs for a short list, Andy Beard, Search Engine Land.
Paid Link Detector 2007 - This program searches through a website and with 20% accuracy can determine if a link is paid or not. It then saves the found data to the PR Update Tools folder. This program is still in beta testing so most links it finds on a page are all considered paid. Donna is running a paid link poll, so if you do in fact buy links right now, run over and take her quick poll at SEO-Scoop.
SERP’s Eraser 6.5 - Program used by Matt to penalize your website and at times even erase it completely from there system. Last I saw johnchow.com was bookmarked in this program.
Backlink Deleter 2.0.8 - Program is very touchy and almost has a mind of it’s own from what I have been told. It has the ability to find backlinks to your site, however it not only finds them but also deletes them from the Google database. This of course is still in beta and needs to be tweaked.
Shut Down Yahoo - This folder contained an all in one script that would lower all Yahoo pages PR to a 1, label the Yahoo Directory as a paid link farm, and send out 1 email to every yahoo.com email address advising them to switch to GMail.

I wish I could tell you what is behind the blurred links, but that is top secret Google applications and links to there future plans to take over the internet. Acrobat reader is self explanatory and I checked his Internet Explorer and his homepage was in fact set to SEMSPot.com!

Matt has the option to simply log off, or melt down…I did not test the melt down feature as I did not have the time to leave the building.

One a final note, all of the links shown on Matt’s start menu ALL used the NOFOLLOW tag. This post was meant has a joke, and Matt if you are indeed reading this then I hope you are at least laughing a little bit.

 

This article was originally written and posted on SEMSpot.com, a Search Engine Marketing Blog. If you like the article please sign up to our RSS Feed.

 

 

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